Every kitchen needs some kitsch.

Granite, schmanite. As my kitchen countertops have progressed from Art Deco porcelain (with a built-in drain board) to laminate to faux Corian, they've always been topped with kitsch.

There's the wooden cow whose tail is a clothespin, for holding recipe cards. There's a ceramic rooster and his mate found at a consignment store (glued back together so expertly I was fooled).

I have a wooden oven-rack pull, purchased at a craft show. It is a hand-carved squirrel. Push a hot oven rack in with the squirrel's front feet; pull it out with its ears. Clever little thing.

Over my kitchen sink is my kitsch stash extraordinaire. The upper window sash holds 10 cut-crystal salt dishes from the turn of the last century. They refract light and sparkle as I wash dishes. I bought them at an antiques store when I was a young adult who was fascinated by the idea of a table set so elegantly that the salt gets its own bowl.

Various tiny kitschy pieces sit atop and among the salt dishes -- a couple of tiny stuffed bears, tiny ceramic deer, a few weirdly shaped ceramic animals (elephant, antelope) that came in boxes of tea bags.

On the windowsill there's a plastic figurine of the witch from Snow White, holding an apple, and a pink ceramic pig who sleeps on her side with a smile on her face. She has a black-and-white piglet by her side (they're not a set). Near her are a couple of thumb-sized ceramic dogs, including my favorite, who has a black circle around his eye and looks askance, like he just knows he won't get any table scraps.

The only rhyme to this unreason is that each piece makes me laugh.

Or it piques a memory.

A plastic circular picture frame, capped by a curl of plastic ribbon, sits on the sash. "Baby's First Christmas" it says. Inside is a photo of my daughter at age four months, nearly 16 years ago. It was a Christmas tree ornament and, by happy chance, the hook broke, so I popped it on the sash. I can see her chubby, smiling face and sparkling eyes anytime I cook.

I have a plastic suncatcher made by a World War II Navy nurse I interviewed many years ago for a Memorial Day feature. I'll never part with it.

I have my husband's name carved in wooden letters about an inch high, which, each time I clean, I perch atop a diminutive, bright red apple on which is written "You are the apple of my eye."

There's a small ceramic Dutch girl whose dress has faded to barely blue. My late grandmother tucked this into a plant arrangement that she made for me. One of the girl's legs broke long ago, but she teeters nicely on the sash on her remaining leg.

She's indeed kitsch.

Which is "something of tawdry design, appearance, or content created to appeal to popular or undiscriminating taste," says dictionary.com.

Huh.

I think not.

Western Allegheny Community Library will hold its third An Evening Under the Stars fund-raiser from 6 to 10 p.m. Saturday in Findlay Township Community Park. Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 at the gate. Food and wine tastings abound (call 724-695-8150 or visit westernalleghenylibrary.org).

Hearth, a nonprofit organization that assists homeless women and children, will hold its 7th Art of Wine & Food event from 6 to 9 p.m. Sept. 25 at the National Aviary, North Side. Register by tomorrow and get a discount on your tickets, which are $60, $85 for VIP treatment (412-939-2302 or visit hearth-bp.org).

The 2008 Waterfront Food & Wine Tasting from 5 to 8 p.m. Sept. 18th will benefit the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. Taste restaurant fare and wine for $15, or bring a bag of nonperishable items for the food bank and get a $2 discount (pittsburghfoodbank.org).

The next Greek food festival: noon to 8 p.m. Sunday, Annuciation Greek Orthodox Church, White Oak.

Eat'n Park has expanded its "Celiac-Friendly" menu by 19 items.

Dietician Rita Madden will speak at 7 p.m. next Thursday at St. George Antiochian Orthodox Cathedral, Oakland. Her talk will cover weight loss, cholesterol and other health issues impacted by nutrition, and also discuss how church teachings apply to health. Donation of $10 is requested; proceeds benefit International Orthodox Christian Charties (412-310-2303 or ritanutrition@yahoo.com).

• Deadline is Sept. 26 for the 19th annual Tabasco Community Cookbook Awards. Books published as fundraisers for nonprofits in 2007 and 2008 are eligible. First place: $2,500; second, $1,000 and third, $750. Cookbooks of any vintage that have sold more than 100,000 copies are eligible for the Walter S. McIlhenny Hall of Fame for community cookbooks, named for the late president of McIlhenny Co., which has been making Tabsasco sauce in Louisiana since 1868. Entry form and rules: tabasco.com.

• The deadline is Sept. 15 for Kimberly-Clark's Rock Your School sweepstakes. Win a concert with Radio Disney recording artist Jordan Pruitt and 100,000 bonus box tops, worth $10,000, for your school. Go to rockbacktoschool.com.

• The deadline has been extended to Monday for the Union Project's Duke of Ribs competition. Amateurs and professionals are eligible to enter the contest, which will be held from 3 to 6 p.m. Sept. 13. Pros will receive a free ad on the Union Project's Web site for a year and be paid up to $600 to provide ribs for the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Event. Entry forms are available at unionproject.org/about_us/events/rib_off or at the project's office, 801 N. Negley Ave.

Paula Deen now has a line of cookware, says a news release. Next she will take over the universe.

PG TESTED

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 medium red onion, diced
• 2 celery stalks, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen green beans
• 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes in juice
• 1 1/2 pounds red new potatoes, scrubbed well and quartered
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 4 bone-in pork chops, about 9 ounces each (if you cannot find thick chops, have your grocery butcher cut a bone-in pork loin)

In a medium saucepan melt 2 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Add onion and celery; season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables begin to soften, 5 to 6 minutes. Add green beans and tomatoes (with juice). Cook, stirring occasionally, until beans are very tender, about 15 minutes.

Set a steamer basket in a large pot. Fill with enough water to come just below basket; bring to a boil. Add potatoes. Reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and cook until tender, 12 to 14 minutes.

Transfer potatoes to a bowl; set aside.

Remove steamer basket and discard water from pot. In same pot, melt 1 tablespoon butter over medium heat. Add garlic; cook until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes. Add potatoes; mash coarsely. Cook, stirring, 1 minute (a film of starch will form on the bottom of pot.) Stir in milk and remaining tablespoon butter. Heat until warmed through, about 1 minutes more. Season with salt and pepper. Remove from heat. Cover and set aside.

Heat broiler to high. Line a baking sheet that has sides with aluminum foil. In a small bowl, combine sugar and Dijon mustard. Place pork on sheet; season with salt and pepper. Broil until pork begins to brown, 6 to 8 minutes; spread sugar mixture over top. Broil until glaze is browned and pork is opaque throughout, 1 to 2 minutes.

Serve pork with potatoes and green beans.

-- Everyday Food, September 2008

You can use any of the three components here separately, of course, but make them all and voila! A complete meal in 30 minutes. These recipes come from Everyday Food magazine, a Martha Stewart publication, in a feature on quick weeknight suppers.

-- Margi Shrum